Raw

The days are getting longer, sap's rising and I'm in a positive frame of mind so seems a good time to jot down what I'm up to.

Personal Cruft

A few months ago I went on another bit of a down, and predictably fell back on my usual (lousy) coping strategy, drinking loads of wine. I wasn't working, so have drained all available money. But I've pretty much pulled out of that patch now, regained a bit of optimism and am currently on the wagon. Still living in rural Italy on my own aside from 2 dogs, 2 cats, though have got romantically involved with someone, albeit (very) remotely so far.

Work-Work

The past couple of months I've been coding on Apache Stanbol, getting paid indirectly through the Fusepool project. My role there is near-enough in line with my long-term plan of creating a loose consultancy. I'm only now getting anything like up to speed on Stanbol, but it's interesting material and when I actually get stuff done, pays ok. It'll still be a while before I can relax, credit card is still maxed out etc. but at least things seem to be going in the right direction.

Coding

I've neglected my own code for a long while, first just not being in the mood and then having to concentrate on work-work. A big problem I have frequently had is having too many balls in the air meaning nothing ever gets finished. I've been using Workflowy for (hierarchical) todo lists for a while, but the number of items on the lists tends to increase much faster than I get things done. So I'm going to limit myself to about 4.5 projects, and cycle through them, just making an approx. one week to do list for each on each cycle. The projects are:

• Seki (server-side node.js) - a bit of linked data middleware
• Scute (desktop Java) - a Semantic Web hacking utility
• JEdwards (desktop Java) - a custom text editor optimised for working on Javascript/node.js, is a sub-project of Scute
• Web Beep (server-side Java) - text to tones and back again
• Site - anything to do with my online presence (admin, blog, docs, services, vocabs etc.)

Writing

No professional writing in the pipeline, I was finding book writing a bit too stressful for the benefit it provided (last thing was working on a revision of Beginning XML). Got a few ideas for online tech pieces, longer than typical blog posts, that I'd like to assemble as a kind-of book. But there are no deadlines (or payment) associated with them. Still haven't started the novel...

New Place

Although it was on hold over winter, I'm still in the process of renovating the house opposite. The other day I took a load of photos that I put into a presentation format as a visual todo list (the text items the pasted into Workflowy - data reuse!). I've said several times that I plan to be in there by xmas, but now it actually seems within reach. The biggest job, which had become a bit of an albatross, making the windows, is getting close to completion. None of the other things really prevent me from moving in, so now I can realistically say "in by summer".

Other Stuff

Way too much time on Facebook, at the cost of blogging, Twitter and G+. I've continued to read a lot of tech stuff but haven't been interacting on any mailing lists or working groups (in fact I got bumped from the HTML5 group because the renew form didn't work for me - I told the given contact but was ignored, well bugger 'em). That's liberated a lot of time :)

I have been doing a little bit of woodcarving, music and electronics. No travel plans, but all being well a certain someone will be coming over here from Australia very soon.

Main thing, I'm now available for work. Ideally coding/related or writing, part-time, but anything considered. It has to be remote working, I've too many commitments here for anything other than occasional travel.

So short term I'm just up for anything that'll help pay the bills. Longer term, my plan is to operate under the umbrella of hyperdata.org. I'm labeling it a consultancy, with primary focus around Semantic Web technologies, but that's only a first approximation of what I've got in mind. Yes, I'll be available as a consultant (and for hands-on coding etc), but there will be two key differences from most traditional consultancies.

The first is that if I'm not convinced I personally can handle the job in question, I know a lot of people working in the related fields. I'm confident I can find appropriate expertise. So in that sense, hyperdata.org will operate as a kind of agency (initially I intend to organise this very loosely, informally, but if it seems appropriate a more formal setup is always an option). [If you've got free cycles let me know.]

The other novel aspect will be the approach to research & development. Many tech consultancies have ongoing dev projects, but they tend to be very focused around the core of their consultancy work. In the extreme (but common) case is that a particular piece or set of software is at the heart of the business, the consultancy in effect being an extended kind of support for that software.

I want to go in a different direction, actively trying to avoid any predetermined path, rather taking a more exploratory approach. The idea is to do a lot of "spike"-style development - comparatively agile and rapid, in general only taking things to the proof-of-concept stage. My little seed (and feasibility check) for this was Web Beeps. A small but fairly novel idea, which I developed just enough to get a live service running, and which in turn has spawned a load more ideas for experimentation. Web Beeps took me about a month part-time to take from notion to service, and that's the kind of ballpark timescale I've got in mind for discrete research projects.

The primary intention behind this R&D is to inform other activities, to discover effective techniques and processes. Think hobby coding or Googlesque 20% time, but on the one hand with a slightly more formal approach (a clear, typically finite life cycle for projects), on the other hand with no fixed time/resources allocation - depending on other work, it can vary between 0 and 100% of work time. If there's a contract to fulfil, that takes total precedence.

A side effect may be that certain spikes suggest themselves as suitable for further development towards some kind of commercial product. In such a case, my current feeling is that it will probably be preferable to spin them off to third parties at the first opportunity. Time will tell how that pans out. As I'll mostly be working on my own, I do have the huge advantage of being able to be flexible about business model, so if any avenues do look particularly promising I can change practice to suit.

On a personal note, experience suggests I'm most productive at computer-oriented work when I'm putting in about half the hours of a typical full-time job. Given my current circumstances, that's actually a positive. I've no great ambition to get rich quick, the motivation is just to pay the bills doing something interesting. My cost of living is relatively low, which helps. Also I'm still renovating a house, and have got loads of other hobbies, so restricted hours is a good fit.

If you think I may be of use to you, let me know.

Main thing, I'm now available for work. Ideally coding/related or writing, part-time, but anything considered. It has to be remote working, I've too many commitments here for anything other than occasional travel.

So short term I'm just up for anything that'll help pay the bills. Longer term, my plan is to operate under the umbrella of hyperdata.org. I'm labeling it a consultancy, with primary focus around Semantic Web technologies, but that's only a first approximation of what I've got in mind. Yes, I'll be available as a consultant (and for hands-on coding etc), but there will be two key differences from most traditional consultancies.

The first is that if I'm not convinced I personally can handle the job in question, I know a lot of people working in the related fields. I'm confident I can find appropriate expertise. So in that sense, hyperdata.org will operate as a kind of agency (initially I intend to organise this very loosely, informally, but if it seems appropriate a more formal setup is always an option). [If you've got free cycles let me know.]

The other novel aspect will be the approach to research & development. Many tech consultancies have ongoing dev projects, but they tend to be very focused around the core of their consultancy work. In the extreme (but common) case is that a particular piece or set of software is at the heart of the business, the consultancy in effect being an extended kind of support for that software.

I want to go in a different direction, actively trying to avoid any predetermined path, rather taking a more exploratory approach. The idea is to do a lot of "spike"-style development - comparatively agile and rapid, in general only taking things to the proof-of-concept stage. My little seed (and feasibility check) for this was Web Beeps. A small but fairly novel idea, which I developed just enough to get a live service running, and which in turn has spawned a load more ideas for experimentation. Web Beeps took me about a month part-time to take from notion to service, and that's the kind of ballpark timescale I've got in mind for discrete research projects.

The primary intention behind this R&D is to inform other activities, to discover effective techniques and processes. Think hobby coding or Googlesque 20% time, but on the one hand with a slightly more formal approach (a clear, typically finite life cycle for projects), on the other hand with no fixed time/resources allocation - depending on other work, it can vary between 0 and 100% of work time. If there's a contract to fulfil, that takes total precedence.

A side effect may be that certain spikes suggest themselves as suitable for further development towards some kind of commercial product. In such a case, my current feeling is that it will probably be preferable to spin them off to third parties at the first opportunity. Time will tell how that pans out. As I'll mostly be working on my own, I do have the huge advantage of being able to be flexible about business model, so if any avenues do look particularly promising I can change practice to suit.

On a personal note, experience suggests I'm most productive at computer-oriented work when I'm putting in about half the hours of a typical full-time job. Given my current circumstances, that's actually a positive. I've no great ambition to get rich quick, the motivation is just to pay the bills doing something interesting. My cost of living is relatively low, which helps. Also I'm still renovating a house, and have got loads of other hobbies, so restricted hours is a good fit.

If you think I may be of use to you, let me know.

First, don't take 'em.

But...

I got a bit of crit recently. One night after a drop of Jack Daniels (not used to that) I posted on Facebook requesting entertaining chemicals. Having had time to think, I am pleased I did. I have been all too aware of the "drug problem". It's bullshit. Rather, the reality [sic] is a long way removed from the public perception, aka the media perception. Right now, I would recommended caffeine and cannabis for everyone, beer for most As a 48 year old, who has partaken of a few varieties, I'd say leave it at that. Beware of alcohol - though that could just be me. But surely it is up to the individual, assuming they are in full control of their decisions, to choose to do these things or not? There are shitloads of sociatal pressures around, and some of these chemicals do have a delitarious effect on health. But most of the most dangerous drugs, just aren't. Look in the literature, look at Keith Richards, it's not the chemical that's dangerous. Don't get me wrong, in a past life (before my wife extracted me) I was surrounded by peers dropping like flies. That was basically miserable junkies, low life, hand to mouth existence. Good people. But also before then I'd seen plenty of proper upper-middle class London architect types snorting loads of coke, doing skag, the difference being...not the chemicals.

The legality of it all is a joke. Pharm companies making a mint meanwhile. And t'pubs. Cigarette, now please.

No, it's convenient to demonize drugs, but have you seen the stats on antidepressants? They're usually meant to up your serotonin - but they don't really work that much better than placebo. Well it isn't maybe sustainable, but maybe try an E and maybe you could imagine life being better. A hint of optimism.

On the hallucinogenics front, all bets are off. Weird shit. The human brain does have receptors for these chemicals, some time in our evolutionary past it was useful. No idea. wooooooo

The issues around this stuff are long and wide, and there's a hella long history. Coca Cola. Great Binge (10 years either side of 1900), every known ancient civilization. Posh Romans sweetened their wine with white lead, that decline was maybe unintentional. That's drunks for ya.

Just for the record, I don't actually do this kind of thing any more, haven't done (with one passing blip a few years ago) for about 20 years. Nowadays I find there are more interesting things to do.

PS. removed a bit of my personal history - trust me, not an interesting bit.

Long story short: I've spent the last couple of months doing rehab on myself. No New Year Resolutions per se, but I'm coming back into the land of the living.

Ok, for starters I do like to drink too much too much. As well as going for it for fun, booze has always been my fallback when stressed or fed up. Given that no matter what mood I'm in a few glasses of wine are likely to improve it, it's easy to see how I developed a dependency. Over the years it's caused no end of problems of every kind, but as they say, old habits die hard.

But this last year I started pretty well - first few months totally abstinent, then relatively moderate for a couple of months. Actually managed to go to a conference and having a few beers without making a complete tit of myself, losing valuables or missing my transport home. Bravo Danny.

Some time afterwards I realised I'd slipped back into having something to drink every day. Not good, especially since I was also spending an awful lot of time lying on the settee watching rubbish on TV. So I went abstinent again.

Problem was, even weeks later, I still found myself lying on the settee watching rubbish on TV. Didn't feel inspired to do anything, was letting work slip (despite an empty bank account). Not really getting any pleasure from anything. Finally I did break the abstinence, had loads to drink over a couple of days and at the time felt great, except immediately afterwards was back where I'd started, plus nursing a monster hangover.

Had to act. Proper rehab was an option - my mother was due to be coming over for another long visit (she's here now) so the animals would be ok if I went away. But I was already able to be abstinent, no problem with that in itself. Just needed to clear what would be clinically diagnosed as depression. Not a dramatic woe is me hell-pit, just a general abscence of enthusiasm for anything. (Once upon a time some nasty scratches on my arm were mistaken for self-harm, whereas in reality they were a result of a cat reacting to a visit to the vet...). Years back Caroline suspected I was a bit bipolar because I did sometimes get manic, but that would always be after an extended period of serious boozing. Most people would probably get the same way under the circumstances. Without chemicals I'm pretty level over time, even if that level might not be where I'd like.

So I decided to try rehab at home. Staying sober: taken as read. Removing temptation: not a problem. Removing things likely to cause problems, stress and so on: hmm. The only way I could bring myself to do that was dropping everything, irrespective of commitments. So I did. I simply stopped looking at email (and the online social nets). But as I was already screwing up work, it seemed to make sense to choose the lesser evil long term. Then there's the other bit: therapy.

I've talked to a few therapists over the years from a variety of schools of thought, not personally found any of much use. Similarly I've tried various medications, again, not worth the effort. But to be able to get back into doing productive things, I definitely needed some kind of what might loosely be called occupational therapy.

The answer seemed to be to spend time doing things that I've enjoyed in the past. Basically playing, but it's a little different when play has become a chore.

So that's what I've been doing the past couple of months. Playing. It's seems to have worked, got me out of the immediate pit at least. I did have a brief go at a bit of fresh work-work that looked less demanding than what I usually go for, but backed off soon after starting. Fingers crossed that will still be available now I'm about ready to crack on with things.

Without planning it that way, my play activities have pretty much corresponded to things I should be doing. I've been busy with a fun dev project [that just went live - more on that shortly], but it's a bit removed from the Web of Data stuff. That's involved research, but again a different domain than usual. I've been writing, but not tech stuff, rather tidying up old write-ups of various hobby projects, adding some little bits [some done, but it's ongoing]. I've been doing a fair bit of woodwork, but rather than the long-overdue bits of house restoration it's been making Christmas presents (the fact that I'm too skint to buy anything has been good motivation there) [some still to finish, heh]. Rather than spending time on social nets to engage with the rest of the world I've been working on a little music video project [mostly done, will release in a couple of weeks].

I've not been doing any fresh music to speak of, not least because I was getting frustrated at not managing to produce stuff I liked. I think maybe I was pressurising myself there a bit too - even though it's meant to be fun stuff, I was treating it like I should be doing it. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get back into it. (Incidentally I've been listening to a mix of Robyn and Led Zep recently, go figure).

Check back here in a year's time to see how well the DIY Rehab strategy has worked. In the meantime (a few hours early) -

Happy New Year!